Big Mac

Big Mac

There’s a lot of things that we can get today that we couldn’t get fifty years ago. Technology has gone a long way to improve our way of life. Seriously, what would you do if you couldn’t groupon and foursquare your way through the week? Obvious catastrophe would ensue. And really, there’s not a damn thing that I really want from fifty years ago to replace with what we have today. For example, women’s attire. I mean, is any dude gonna be like “damn yo, I wish all women on the sidewalks in NYC dressed like it was 1955.” Right? And that’s not to mention going to the beach. The women’s bikini of 2010 certainly is an improvement on what was out there fifty years ago, if you know what I’m sayin’! Food is perceived differently though. Sure, I can get some apples from half a world away. But people aren’t amazed at that… they’re shocked and sometimes outraged! Technology is also supposed to help in efficiency… and there, folks again don’t want efficiency! We want artisan! But I like mass produced. When I’m hungry and faced with budget limitations, I don’t want some steamed pastrami that’s a NYC delicacy or a fancy hot dog from some flea market… I want… a Big Mac.

It’s true, this gastronomical greatness has been around 1967, so it’s not really technologically new. But I bet the way they get their beef is full of technological wonders. For example, all their patties are pretty much the same shape. And the cooking method is standardized across almost all McDonald’s. Sure, sourcing of the ingredients is different in Europe and South America and Asia… but fuck it, I don’t care. Maybe Ruth Reichl can eat pastas infused with the ocean, but I can only afford burgers infused with the vitriol from food lovers. It is a recession after all.

I think if ten individuals from a McDonald’s factory committed suicide this year, every single food blogger, foodie, food lover would be up in arms over working conditions or whatever. But actually ten folks died at the iphone factory this year. Our standards for caring about how our food is made is one thing, but then it’s a different one if we need a standard to care about whether we have a device for 3G. Superb. So you can see why I really don’t care where my beef is made or how technologically advanced it is. In fact, the more advanced it is… the more I’m filled with glee.

So you see, ingesting evil topped with special sauce is a GOOD thing. At least I can be assured that the only thing that suffered for my Big Mac was a cow instead of a grieving mother. But cows are cute so maybe I should. If you don’t like McDonald’s, then you’re not missing out. If you think their kinda freaky, I really have no new evidence to convince you otherwise. They’re probably as nasty as you remember it, but all I can say is that I really enjoyed my Big Mac. It was the first one in a long ass while and it did the trick.

Anyway, so I got my blood test done last week and boy… that shit still hurts after a week. I don’t know how some people can donate blood like 20 times or whatever. It hurt every single second that she drew out blood for just a tiny sample. Can’t imagine what it’s like if they gotta take out a lot. Anyway my doctor told me my cholesterol level is great. Like 155 great. Good HDL and LDL levels too. So that’s why I felt ok to eat a fatty Big Mac. You know, because I have all that room to go before my cholesterol hits 200. Here’s to hoping I have lots more fatty foods before I gotta stop.

Posted by Danny on August 6, 2010 at 3:14 pm

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