Averageness and breakfast sandwich at shake shack

Averageness and breakfast sandwich at shake shack

When I was in high school and the first few years of college, the dominant instant messaging system in the U.S. was called AIM, which stood for AOL Instant Messenger. If you have no goddamn clue what AOL means, I hate you. Stop being so hip. But one of the features of AIM was that it was an extension off of regular AOL because the chat feature was actually what was most popular about it. Anyway, AIM had this thing where you could post a tiny text ‘profile’ or whatever you want like quotes or whatever. And I would always think I was this great emo (before emo was a word, even though now it’s not anymore) shit and wrote my own un-pithy quotes about life. As a thirty-something now, the only un-pithy thing that I really want to write on my ‘profile’, which is now a blog that only my family and friends read, is that I finally found the one defining quote for me that I’m going to follow through the rest of my thirties: I am extraordinarily average, and its time to plan life accordingly.

The going wisdom about opening a restaurant in New York City is something like 9 out of 10 of them fail. Usually they list reasons like you encounter things that you just never planned for like natural disasters or zoning problems, or even getting your utilities set up. But now? Now as a thirty-something, I think the real reason is that 9 out of 10 individuals are extraordinarily average, yet those nine think they’re on the brink of genius. Meanwhile, the ten percent that succeed actually is all from guys/gals with tremendous pedigree in their skills and have good financial backing.

I guarantee you, there are folks all over the United States who think they got the best breakfast sandwich ever. If they could just open some little shack somewhere, their bombastic food creation would rival that of the iconic sausage McMuffin with egg. There’s some brunch or dinner party going on any day of the year where some guests are blowing hot delusional smoke up someone’s ass about how that someone should open a restaurant. As an extraordinarily average dude living in one of the most expensive and overpriced city in the world, my advice would to be embrace your average life, and at least only pursue such a cockamamy idea only if you can get a business loan.

And this idea bout averageness is why I went to go try to breakfast sandwiches at Shake Shack. The truth is the perfect sandwich has been created already. McDonalds won that shit. And years after they won gold, they made McGriddles. What the fuck is left? This however doesn’t mean the landscape crowds out some other thing that could be delicious, as long as it’s ready to take the silver. They have a few versions and I tried the one with sausage, egg, and cheese. It’s very delicious and much larger than a sausage McMuffin with egg. Priced to $5.17 after tax, the better ingredients and the Grand Central location are factored into it. Is it worth it if you’re a yuppie and can eat five dollar breakfasts? Sure. Normally $5 buys me breakfast for the week though, so this is probably the only time I’ll eat this unless I’m at JFK for breakfast. So yea, if you bling, do it. If you live in my area where sausage McMuffin without the egg is $1.09 after taxes… you do the math.

Posted by Danny on January 7, 2015 at 2:01 am

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