Cupcake rant and moral high grounds and bread

Cupcake rant and moral high grounds and bread

Cupcakes are an interesting thing. They get some very excited at the sweet mix between frosting and bite sized cake. Lately, they seem to have gotten so big that there’s some backlash. Sarah DiGregorio of the Village Voice wrote about how all this cupcake craze just needs to stop. Cupcakes don’t really bother me that much though. You guys all know when something bothers me. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to crazy shit (read: Alice Waters). Let me explain to you the difference.

Do you remember Tamagotchis? If you didn’t grow up as a child of the 90s, you wouldn’t know… but if you did, then you would know that they are these little pocket sized video games where you’re basically taking care of a creature. You can feed it, check if it’s happy, see how it’s doing and such. It was the second most inane thing during my teenagehood, right next to women. I mean uh, furby’s.

So I see cupcake fanatics as Tamagotchi owners. Slightly annoying, and definitely makes me want to seek out a chicken bone so I can choke on it just a little. They might gross you out with their fervor, but at the end of the day, it’s pretty harmless. It’s like getting stuck in an elevator with a rabid hockey fan from Saskatchewan or something.

You can see why I can stand the cupcake fanatics. Alice Water fans on the other hand… First off, I have to reiterate that I think she’s done a great deal for America and our food culture. Eating more things that come from a farm instead of from a processed package is always a good thing. It’s just that I see this whole issue of eating local as a choice. Some people, food lovers in particular, choose to grasp onto the negative externalities of food choice. The fact is life is a busy thing and you can grab onto whatever negative externality that you want. For example I could say that buying made in China stuff helps the Chinese government, and anytime you help the Chinese government, you help them squash down freedom of speech, basic human rights, and democracy (I’m looking at iphone and ipod and flat screen tv owners). Or that I can say if you disapprove of any national gas tax, then you’re for increasing the negative externalities of driving, like congestion, accidents, loss of work productivity, just to name a few (I’m looking at the majority of Americans). See, you could CHOOSE to grasp onto ANYTHING you want in life. You can pick at that thing until people stop wanting to invite you to dinner parties. So if you choose to do something, fine. Do it. I don’t care. Leave me the fuck out of it, and stop telling me how good you feel because you do it. If you go out and get a colonic? Do you think I care how great your bowel movements are? No. I hate the people who keep harping at it because it’s like, “Well I drive a Mercedes, what do you drive? Oh, a Buick? I’m so sorry for you darling, didn’t they stop making those a few years ago?”

While I’m on the subject of food stuff that annoy me sorta. You know what gets me? I don’t know why restaurants stop serving me bread. Do I just look like a sorry ass tipper or something? I double the tax everytime, I swear. The last two ‘fancy’ meals that I had were at DBGB and at Beacon. At Beacon I got a steal because it was their 10 year anniversary celebration so the meal was $11 after tax. Three course. So ok, no bread. Fine. DBGB was a $22 lunch prix fixe. It was also three courses. I guess they don’t give you bread when you eat prix fixe. Or maybe you have to ask. I think you have to write on the menu somewhere obvious if it’s only free and available if you ask. Now I left both meals fairly full so it wasn’t a big deal but it’s weird.

Oh and another thing. I ate the three courses from Beacon in less than 40 minutes. Because right after I finished the appetizer, not five minutes later, the entree was on the table. Same thing happened with the dessert. Sure, they were losing money on the $10 meal but just make it more than $10 if you’re just going to rush me. Take it easy yo.

I think it’s totally cool if bread baskets are a thing of the past. It is a recession afterall, and if they save money on bread, then good for them. I just thought prix fixe meals would have it. See what Frank Bruni of NYTimes had to say about this too. So yea, it’s ok not to have bread. And as for insane deals like a $10 dollar pre-tax, pre-tip meal… I’m going to skip those from now on because the restaurant has to do insane covers in order to get close to break even. I chose that meal that night instead of going to Chinatown, and I think anything in Chinatown would have been more relaxing, even with shitty ambiance and rude waitors. You can keep your dim lighting and braised short ribs next time.

Posted by Danny on July 16, 2009 at 5:30 pm

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