Dear Chris Webber

10 October 2016

Dear Chris Webber,

This is an open letter to you, NBA baller, lover of steak sauce, and overall cool dude on NBA TV. I was highly amused by your interview on the Collin Cowherd show (mp3 link) on ESPN Radio yesterday. Apparently, you love steak sauce. I’m assuming you mean A1 steak sauce. I used to be a fan of steak sauce too, because quite frankly, it’s really delicious. First though, I’m going to show my readers a part of the transcript where you describe the experience, and then you know, we’ll get more into the debate about whether it’s #sauce or #nosauce.

(btw readers, if you download the podcast, forward to the 29th minute mark).

Chris Webber: I was in a restaurant with my wife, OK. The restaurant was really nice. I ordered a steak. I ordered it well-done… I piled on onions and mushrooms and now I’m just waiting for some steak sauce. They said they don’t have any steak sauce. So I said OK, so can you just make me up some steak sauce. They said we don’t make steak sauce. So I put the steak in a nice to-go container. Waited til my wife ate. I took that steak home, put it on some break, put a ton of steak sauce on it, and I made a steak sandwich. And that was it. But I still thought like is that arrogant of me not to have the steak or just to have to eat a steak with that, can’t I have a steak my way? Or is that arrogant of the restaurant not to give you steak sauce. That’s like not giving you ketchup on my hamburger.

And later when the host, Colin Cowherd, asked you about Peter Luger’s in New York, you said that you’ve been, and they make their own sauce and you respect those guys.

Ah… Chris… First let me just say that you’re much wackier on NBA TV than you are on TNT, and that’s awesome. Second, I’ll defend any diner’s desire to put whatever kind of condiment he/she wants on any piece of food. That’s the whole point. On one hand, restauranteurs like to say that they’re out to make customers happy. They get enjoyment out of seeing customers enjoy the food. On the other hand, restaurants are private business that can operate under any rule they want. They could shun all vegetarians like they do at Momofuku. They do do no substitutions because here in New York there’s lots of fucked up people with a long list of substitutions they’d want, and another lot of fuckers with fake allergies to suit their esoteric need. So there’s arguments on both sides on whether or not the customer is always right. Or as you said it on the radio, if it’s the ‘have it your way’ generation.

Point is, if you love yourself some A1, I say more power to you. Pour that shit on and have at it. Go to places that would serve you steak sauce. There’s no right or wrong way though. It’s not quite as simple as #sauce or #nosauce on twitter. If it’s a fancy-ish joint, I just eat it how they serve it. Sometimes they do make up their own sauce and it’s OK. And if it’s a fancy place, I think the kitchen should know how to whip up a quick sauce of some sorts at least, otherwise they just really are haters against steak sauce lovers.

I think people ought to eat what gives them pleasure. If it’s McDonald’s or steak sauce, OK. If it’s organic carrots and foraged salads, that is fine as well. People just need to stop making others feel bad about food choices. I will say though, there is a point to be made about what it is that you taste the most if a steak is full of steak sauce. Like whether or not you’re tasting the beef more or the sauce more. But that’s a different argument for others to make. Always eat it with sauce Chris, and enjoy it.

Posted by Danny on August 5, 2011 at 3:13 pm

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Dear Chris Webber