Double Crispy Bakery Review: Double Crispy Bakery can be bit of a Chink
Sometimes I get really tired of Chinese people acting like Chinks. Now, I live in New York and know that in a country as large as the United States, you’re going to find individuals with various level of character, integrity, and trustworthiness. So it might be naive of me to expect that ALL Chinese people be awesome people. But guess what, I have that expectation, especially here in the U.S. where I expect every individual of Chinese descent (basically all Asian motherfuckers in America), to not act a fool. I was in Double Crispy Bakery in Chinatown the other day, where I was on the receiving end of some very Chink-y behavior and it was infuriating.
See, I also have this expectation from stores that sell things… that if you run out of something you sell, you just tell me. For example, I was at a bar waiting for a Metro North Train, and I ordered some random ‘milk stout’ that was on the beer menu because it sounded interesting. The bartender goes and looks for it for two or three minutes and says she can’t find it. I ask for a Sierra Nevada instead and she said they’re out. Then I asked for a Blue Point, and again she said they’re out. So I settled for a Bud. She was apologetic about it and it was cool. I don’t mind drinking Bud, unlike probably most food blog reading netizens. But that’s the kind of honestly I’m looking for. Don’t sell me some shit I didn’t ask for. I expect this from White People establishments. From Chinese places? It doesn’t surprising me any more, but it’s still annoying as fuck. It’s why China won’t get ahead as a world leader. There’s too many of these Chinks willing to nickle and dime you. I’m serious about the nickle and diming part. This stupid Chink lady sold me shit just to make $1.20 on two items. Literally, she couldn’t tell me the truth for $1.20. That’s pathetic.
Back to the story. I went inside of Double Crispy Bakery, around closing time, hoping to get some egg tarts because I know Double Crispy Bakery makes awesome, creamy egg tarts. I decided to also get some wife cake or lau po bing. The lady behind the counter looked at the display case to her left, then to the display case to her right and picked out two. They looked differently to me because Chinese bakeries make a lot of things where the outside look the same, while the innards are different. The bolo bao or pineapple bun is a good example. The outside essentially is made of the same thing but the inside could be plain or have custard or coconut or whatever they want. So Chinese bakeries usually differential with either shapes or they put seeds on top or a red dot or something so they can tell. Lau po bing usually doesn’t have black sesame seeds on top. But you know, at the counter, I’m not going to second guess the lady. She works there. She should know. A good and righteous person wouldn’t knowingly deceive a customer for just $1.20. I mean, maybe I would buy something else? Why fuck with me like that?
But the thing is, this wasn’t a lau po bing. I grew up on this shit. I have eaten hundreds and hundreds of these things. I KNOW WHAT IT IS SUPPOSED TO TASTE LIKE. This was no lau po bing. First of all, wife cake should not smell like Chinese roast pork. I don’t know what the fuck is in this bing, or why the asshole Chink lady sold it to me, but it was nasty. I cut it open down the middle to inspect it and it certainly doesn’t look like awesome versions of wife cake that I’ve had before.
Like I said earlier, this type of deceitful behavior from Chinese people doesn’t surprise me any more. It just goes to show that Chinks can be anywhere, even inside of a bakery. This is exactly why there was that baby’s milk formula scandal in China. You think that shit just happened once? Get serious. I’m down with China making my phones and TVs, if quality control is overseen by an outside corporation not based in China. But food? I don’t even want to buy dried noodles or canned goods made in China. You just don’t know if a Chink made that shit with something shitty or tried to sell you a different thing than what you asked for. Goddamn it Chinks. You all are better than that! And Double Crispy Bakery, you suck! Just tell me when you’re sold out of something, stop selling me shitty things I didn’t want to buy! Assholes!
Double Crispy Bakery230 Grand Street.New York, NY 10013212-966-6929
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