Five Guys Burgers Review: Double up at Five Guys

Five Guys Burgers Review: Double up at Five Guys

Blogging has taught me a few new terms that most people never care to use. “Blogosphere” is the one that my friend, Eric the Teacher loves to make fun of the most. Other terms are useful, like “beef-to-bun ratio” If you ever read A Hamburger Today or Beef Aficionado, you would become familiar with that term. And quite a useful term because when you upset the perfect balance of the beef-to-bun ratio, your burger eating enjoyment falls. When your burger eating enjoyment falls, you end up talking a lot of trash in an Asian basketball tournament and being threatened by hooligans. So stop calling people gorillas and never downgrade from double beef patty to a “little hamburger.”

I heard about Five Guys from Adam and had to go see what’s up. Last time I had Five Guys was about a year ago in their other Brooklyn location. That was before the blog, therefore no photographic evidence of said burger. I remember it being pretty enjoyable but it was such a long time ago, and this time it had to be documented.

To be honest, prior to visiting Five Guys, I ate a hamburger and a half at home already. So um, this was supposed to be a snack. As such, the new calorie information deterred me from ordering the regular sized burgers (which come with two patties). I opted for the “Little hamburger” partly due to inability to read, and a need for less calories. In my head, a little voiced said, “cheeseburger” but when I ordered, it came out as “little hamburger.” Really, I wanted cheese, but somehow forgot to order it.

You have to go with the regular burger or cheeseburger because if you go with the little version, you will realize there is too much bun. From what I could see, they do not have regular bun versus ‘little’ bun. It’s just a bun. So if they designed the burger to have two patties, then you will need two patties. With just one patty, the bun dominates and it becomes a less moist eating experience. This is not a burger were juices drip into the bun, therefore you need as much meaty goodness as possible. Next time I will know better.

Five Guys serves ok fries. I think they lean towards the mediocre point in the spectrum. The good thing about the fries is that they are spiced and seasoned well. They also give you plenty of fries that overflow the little cup. I’m pretty sure you could have a meal with just the fries alone, and maybe a fountain drink. Maybe I have had many meals like that in the malls of suburban Nashville where I grew up. Maybe sometimes I have no concern for actual nutrients in my meal besides potatoes and high fructose corn syrup. Maybe you’re jealous…

The bad thing about the fries is that they are limp. Fresh out of the fryer, they have some crunch. Then as you work your way through (hopefully) a regular burger, you start to notice the fries are mostly soft except at the tip. With a little crunch at the tip and the rest of the fry mostly limp, it was not a good experience. What’s the take-away? Five Guys Fries need some Cialis… I mean uh.. need crunchier fries dudes. They could also try to fry them more uniformly? I had some pieces that were crunchy and done right, but that was the exception not the rule.

I hope to go back soon and try a regular cheeseburger, when my body is ready for 840 calories of beefy goodness.

Five Guys Burgers284 7th Ave.Brooklyn, NY 11215718-499-9380

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