Icy popsicle and weird food aversion

Icy popsicle and weird food aversion

You know when obesity feels like an epidemic in my world? When I’m in a middle seat on the subway between two tubby motherfuckers. Seriously, the only thought going on in my head in those times is, “Motherfucker, I bet… you two pancaking me right now never eat Barack-oli. Bitches. When I was a freshman in college, I remember visiting my sister and she was telling me about her roommates, and one of whom had never eaten an orange in her life. Mind you, this was an 18-year-old American, not like some Inuit woman who doesn’t see oranges at the super market. It’s not even like if you’re an adult and maybe you haven’t seen durian or starfruit, or even figs. I didn’t know fig was a fruit until I was 21, because that was the first time I ate it. Previously, I thought it was a filling for newtons, whatever those were. So when I heard there was someone who didn’t know the taste of an orange, amongst other fibrous foods I thought she was like the wackiest person alive. I bring this up because the pictures in this post are of a popsicle. A shitty popsicle, but one nonetheless. It was a pineapple one, and you figure that the people in this world who don’t know what a pineapple taste like could at least you know, eat a popsicle. While most of the variety that’s in a typical supermarket in America wouldn’t really have real fruit, the one at La Newyorkina did have real fruit. Unfortunately that was the only redeeming part of it.

Often times you find that real food bloggers hesitate to slam things. I don’t. Journalistic integrity only applies to journalists. Plus, with the lack of posts on Food in Mouth, my readership has fallen off a bit. Therefore I feel confident that the people who are going to read this either have already tried one of these popsicles, or really could care less about these popsicles and would never try them anyway because who pays $3 for one popsicle when you can get a whole box of them? I’m not sure. I did it for the blog… three months ago. Now I’m just getting around to writing about it sort of.

I think popsicles with real fruit serve as a great opportunity to be a gateway drug to real fruit, for those people who are so damn weird they don’t eat fruit on their own. The problem is that if the popsicle is just icy and not very flavorful and not very sweet… If there’s anything that American candy makers have gotten right in the last 50 years… it’s that they use enough sugar. Fuck that whole ‘cloying sweet’ crap you see on respectable food blogs. Grow a fucking pair. Cloying sweet doesn’t exist. There’s only perfectly sweet, and not sweet enough. I don’t know what everyone’s damn problem is. So yea, I think these popsicles could be a bridge to those who are fruit averse, but only if they’re actually well-made popsicles (flavor wise, not technically). Even if these existed when my sister’s roommate was in college, I’m not sure they would have swayed her. I did hear from my sister that the fruit averse girl did end up trying various things like strawberries at some point in her 20s, and in South America or something like that. Fuck yeah, it’s Monday!

Posted by Danny on October 15, 2012 at 2:20 pm

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