Real life cookie monster

Real life cookie monster

There it was, beautifully glistening in the sun light, and it whispered to me. Normally cookies resting on park benches don’t whisper, but my brain does weird things when it needs sugar. No one else was around and I sat next to the abandoned cookie to wait a bit, maybe the owner would come back for it. It was perfect and round and most importantly, it looked clean. Who knows how long it was left there, but I didn’t care. My eyes don’t lie. And if it looks OK to eat, that means it IS OK to eat. That’s my college education talking right there.

Most of my friends know that I’ll eat just about anything. There was that one time working at NYU, when my friend and I walked into a conference room after a party, and I picked something out of the trash can. It was ok looking and it was wrapped in plastic. Most importantly, it was a clean trash can. If it’s a clean trash can, you can do anything. Jump around, play in it, eat from it.

Oh and it was sushi.

And when I was in high school, working as a busboy, I would always eat people’s left overs when I took it back to the kitchen. All the busboys did it. You wait for a table that orders lots of appetizers, then when they’re ‘finished’ you clear the table. Usually there’s a piece here and there that you can quickly graze on before you have to rush back out again.

So I knew from experience that leftover food = yum yum yum. And my experiences are never wrong. After five minutes of guarding the cookie, I thought the owner would not be back so I took it. You can’t sit there and eat it in case the owner comes back in the next five minutes and find you eating his/her half eaten cookie. Come on, that’s bad form. Don’t roll like that.

The cookie was crispy and chewy and chocolatey. It had all three characteristics of the cookie trinity. My preference these days lean towards the big thinner cookies rather than the smaller, rounder ones. Also, since I’m weight watching, eating half of a cookie was a good idea. Of course I had to break off the parts that were already chomped on, but you knew that already.

This is not something I recommend, nor is it something that happens that often. But when the opportunity presents itself, you always want to step up and meet it head on. You don’t wanna pull a Michigan State. What a sad game last night. I also may or may not have made up half of this post just because I’m bored. There will be better photos later this week though. Last weekend my girlfriend and I went to Philly, so I’ll have a roast pork sandwich post coming up. Mmmm… yum. Until then, don’t eat cookies off the bench!

Posted by Danny on April 7, 2009 at 4:11 pm

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