Szechuan Gourmet Review: Szechuan Gourmet gets me wet

Szechuan Gourmet Review: Szechuan Gourmet gets me wet

I’m a chauvinistic, misogynistic pig. And I like steak, it’s in my DNA as a man (I think…). After reading Frunk Bruni’s article on gender differences, all I can say is, man, I’m glad wine ain’t a big thing for me. The other thing is, whenenver dining with females, I live up to the stereotypical meek, quiet, geeky Asian boy. So succumbing the wine list is hardly ever an issue. But back to the issue at hand, which is food for men… if restaurants are separated into men and women leaning restaurants, than Szechuan Gourmet has to be a restaurant for the boys. It’s one of my favorite places, and usually I hit it up with Eric the Teacher. This most recent trip was no different, and maybe we can figure out if it’s a restaurant for men, women, or both.

We started the meal with some sliced beef tendons that Zach told me about. It was an awesome recommendation. The tendons come cold and sliced as thin as prociutto. Then they rain some chili oil on top with some spices. Man, it burns your tongue. It’s like… pain that hurts so good. Within minutes I was sweating like a monsoon. It wasn’t pretty but that was just the appetizer.

Up next was this chicken dish. Basically it’s steamed chicken that swims in a pool of chili oil. It’s like they got married, had kids, and then danced in sweet harmony. Except it’s not a sweet harmony, it’s a spicy hot harmony. I’m not sure what it’s called and Eric ordered it in Chinese so I might have to check back with him about it. This was another dish where it was cool and hot at the same time. Cold temperature, hot flavors. This also numbs your tongue but really by now, who cares?

Some people prefer to taste every bite, but then you’re missing the point. Sometimes, you need to get smacked in the face. You need to get owned (and not by the stock market). A proper meal at Szechuan Gourmet will humble you.

We also went with the classic sichuan dish, mapo tofu. You would expect the silky soft chunks of tofu to offer a mini respite of the pain. But no, the creamy texture of this dish means that the heat gets to wrap itself all over your tongue. Really, this meal was like french kissing a chili pepper.

I know a few weeks ago there was some talk about how hip Manhattan Chinese food can be. Well, lemme tell you. After we finished the meal I walked to the bathroom to clear my sinuses. On the way back, Eric said he couldn’t recognize me because of all the sweat. Yea, it’s that intense. My hair looked like Christian Slater’s if he ran through a monsoon. By that I mean slicked back, wet, and disgusting. If that’s not hip? I’m not sure what is.

And here’s why I think sichuan food is for guys. Because guys can talk about going to the bathroom with each other in a joking way. And it ain’t Roses (it’s a youtube to Outkast, don’t worry). Sichuan food, if you eat a proper amount, burns going down and coming out. That’s just the truth and it’s better you read it than… well you know. So yea Frank, add this to the men’s column. Represent! *goes off to hide*

Szechuan Gourmet21 W 39th St.New York, NY 10018212-921-0233

Posted by Danny on October 9, 2008 at 8:58 pm

After two months of being a parent, I can say that it doesn’t get any easier! The food blogging pretty much has stopped but it’s nice to take… [more]

April 1, 2016 at 2:26 am

I am a dad now! It’s only been about a month, and it’s as surreal to write that now was it was when my son first came into the world. Being… [more]

February 29, 2016 at 2:27 am

For the food loving couple that’s hobbled by the exclamation of, “I’m getting too old for this,” there’s some usefulness in food courts…. [more]

January 10, 2016 at 1:12 am

When the semester cycles to an end, my brain basically cannot fit everything all in, and that’s why the blog has really suffered. My plan for the… [more]

December 31, 2015 at 8:39 pm 23135170770_ca7ffb2f62_m-3695299

The other day wifey and I woke up at 3 am and took the train into the city. Weather had not yet turned cold. It wasn’t the kind of wind that would… [more]

November 30, 2015 at 9:54 pm