Unbeatable Breakfast combination

Unbeatable Breakfast combination

My local Dunkin Donuts is doing some new product that’s called pancake sausage bites or something like that. Basically it’s a spherical sausage bite that’s situated inside of a pancake enclosure. Did that make sense? In other words, it’s pancake wrapped around a sausage. It’s three pieces for one dollar and eighty-nine cents, so of course you know me. That’s how I like to roll. I bought some just out of sheer curiosity because actually there’s no way these things are going to blow me out of the water, and also at 63 cents a piece, the value proposition is shaky at best. You could buy two orders and get 6 thingies for two bucks, but the marginal utility of the pancake bites decrease as you consume more. Don’t be fooled kids, just start with one order like me.

These pancake sausage bites are ok. Really, they look like hush puppies, except not made out of corn meal and it’s instead stuffed with some sort of sausage. Of course the sausage is nothing special, it’s what you would expect from a fast food place for breakfast. Mysterious, unnatural, and utterly irresistible. It’s basically Kim Kardashian’s ass in bite sized breakfast form. People, that’s what I call indulgence. The pancake portion come pre-sweetened, no doubt with some syrup made out of high fructose corn syrup. You know, to make it extra delicioso. It’s not over powering so I was down with it. But you know what goes well with sweet things? Spicy things. And you know what most kids normally eat for breakfast? Cereals made out of a corn derivative, or if you’re lucky, corn. Obviously what I needed in this situation was more corn, and what better way to introduce spicy corn into your breakfast routine than to add some Flamming Hot Cheetos.

Oooooh yes I did! At first, your reaction is of disgust. Let me win you over though. Nothing tames hotness like a dose of sugar. And that’s how these two items are so perfect. First, after years and years of breakfast cereals, your stomach is actually craving corn in the morning. I’m telling you, my body metabolizes corn into essential fuel that I use to be a grouchy motherfucker. Since the pancake sausage bites are sweet, you need that spicy Flaming Hot Cheetos to balance it out.

On top of the harmonious flavors between the hot and the sweet, the Cheetos actually offer you some nice crunch to go with your breakfast. Do I suggest this especially when one is hung over? Well, who am I to judge how you eat your breakfast and whether you puked the night before. What I can tell you is that Dunkin Donuts apparently sell this thing all hours of the day, so if you could find a 24hr DD and a 24hr deli, this excellent combination could be yours even at 2 A.M. in the morning when you finished watching The Holiday on TNT. And there you have it folks. A ghettolicious breakfast for all hours of the day.

Posted by Danny on November 22, 2010 at 7:34 pm

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