Momofuku Milk Bar Review: Basketball and crack pie

Momofuku Milk Bar Review: Basketball and crack pie

My one-third life crisis is not yet over, although since the NBA Playoffs are about to end, my ability to watch sports this summer will be limited to tennis (Wimboldon and U.S. Open). And then it’ll be time to be a bandwagon fan for the MLB Playoffs! hurray! I’ve been bad about the diet, but that’s ok since I started to go outside more. Right now, I’m working on my 15 foot jumper. Man, it’s hard to shoot a jump shot when you only get like two inches off of the ground. The timing of releasing a basketball at the apex of a 2 inch jump means that you start your motion probably even before your jump hits 1 inch off the ground. The whole mechanics of it is mind boggling. And then when some kid is like, “Hey mister, can I shoot with you?” it interrupts my routine. Again, this is how I know that one-third of my life is gone, teenagers call me mister. Whatever, the game was 12-8, eat it kid. A fat, slow dude just beat you at basketball. Now go finish 9th grade. Oh but this post features pictures of a pie. Let’s talk ab out a crack pie.

From a marketing perspective, I think more people should start calling their food by ‘crack’. Seriously, it’s all the rage to run a food truck. Crack Truck. Someone go register it. Artisanal homemade ice cream is all the rage too. Crack flavored ice cream. Boom. Another winner. Maybe that’s why Christina Tosi and the Momofuku Milk Bar team is so genius. I previously wrote about this crack pie before, but it’s worth mentioning again.

Not every single thing at the Milk Bar is a winner, although I think this is definitely one of them. Anderson Cooper apparently loves this stuff. Can’t blame the guy though. Hard to find good pies in Manhattan these days. There are probably restaurants where you can buy pies to be served in the resto, but sometimes you just want your slice to go. This is New York, but there aren’t that many good to-to pie places? Insanity.

Also, I went to DC for a few days. I have some thoughts about Chinatown bus companies. One, if you’re going to DC on a Chinatown bus, make sure it doesn’t stop in Baltimore. This will increase your bus ride time by an average of 45 minutes. It took an hr extra on the way there and 30 min extra on the way back to NY. Two, check the prices on those tickets. Sometimes it’s $20 when you buy online and cheaper when you buy roundtrip or buy in person. Odd, I know. Things that are crap about Chinatown buses… the whole thing of online ticket purchasers board the bus first is fooey. Get in line early to get on the bus if you want to get on the bus in the front. Another crap thing is the electrical outlets don’t work even if they put it there. And the air conditioner is like a blast freezer. There were also lots of little kids. 2 yrs and younger, with their moms. That shit is annoying. Why can’t parents just drug their kids before taking them on a 5 hr bus ride? Is that too much to ask? “Here kid, valium. All big and cool kids do it. I would give you oxycodone instead but Rush stole my supply.” 2-year-old kids don’t have brains capable of empathy so they’re shouting all the time, not realizing no one else is shouting and people nap on buses. They also have no concept of time, or patience as demonstrated by that famous marshmallow study. So yea, mothers. Drug your kids before taking them on 5 hour rides.

This will no longer be a food blog.

Momofuku Milk Bar251 e 13th st.New York, NY 10003212-254-3500

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